I totally understand what happens when we get sucked into the program spins of low vibrational energy bundles.
My suggestion is, when you feel the emotional, mental or energetic charge around this situation, to give it a color. And then process the color. Every time a thought come through about it, visualize the though as a bubble of that color, and process it, e.g.: "indigo blue bubble, you are welcome here".
Once the main charge is done with (not so distracting), then spend time Observing the color. Observe it without agenda.
When I read your experience, the thought occurred to me that the friend who told you what was wrong with the fundraiser was actually accurately reading the energy behind it.
Attacking a person for not being grateful enough, or not giving enough, is actually an act of violence. Once we realize this, we can see why our energy, emotional, mental (and sometimes physical) bodies are injured.
For future reference, whenever you feel the need to "defend" or "explain" yourself to another, realize that you have fallen for a low vibrational trap (usually ego based). Acknowledge the need to defend, look see what programs got triggered, process those and drop the defense. Simply don't engage with those individuals again. Or kick them in the butt... whichever gives you the most satisfaction
(Join the platform for the full discussion on this topic and to add your own contribution)